big seki loop

Monday, August 6, 2018

Last night was rough. I woke up in the night with a night terror, yelling at a bear. There were none nearby. Yet, I sat awake with concern, and toiled in the thoughts I had packed along this trip – the ones I could not leave behind.

This year has been rough. This summer the worst of all. It’s hard for me to even acknowledge, to speak out loud of the pain, the goodbye to a friend that Rachel and I had to endure. Even now I don’t want to face it. Just recollecting my recollections, it’s still too painful to write.

Doggie, Black Licky, Loaf of Love, Log Dog, Brownie. Anisa. She was a dog of many names, and much love. She was a kind friend that I never deserved, a sweet soul in a world that too often fosters bitter fruit. I awake at night and think of her. I scratch at the surface of memories looking to uncover what I could have done to keep her with us longer. I kick myself and bite down hard, I don’t deserve to express the pain. But it tares through all my might, opening up the night. I scream.

I thought there was a bear. But more likely it was my memories, fragments of fear jarred loose, that normally lay nestled in my mind.

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Sunday, August 5, 2018

Today we march our legs back out onto the trail. We will start again from Road’s End, retracing our last 1.8 miles from yesterday until we reach the Woods Creek, Bubbs Creek junction. From there we will branch off onto the Bubbs Creek trail, heading toward Vidette Meadow.

It’s been less than 24 hours since we exited at Roads End, yet it feels like we’ve been off for weeks. We’ve only been off the trail for one night. We welcome the wilderness with eagerness and relax as the people on the trail become sparse.

It’s a Sunday afternoon, and most of the hikers are heading out today, after a weekend on the Rae Lakes loop. It’s a popular section of the trail we won’t be seeing. But we’ve been blessed with beauty, and more is yet to come.

It’s a hot day today. Although a canopy of trees keep us covered, sunlight bites at us through open gaps between the branches. We ascend a short series of switchbacks after cutting off onto Bubbs Creek Trail. In full sun now, the dust of the trail lifts in clouds around my feet, and stick to my sweating calves. I unbutton the front of my shirt. I had dampened it in the creek below, but it’s already beginning to dry. I envy the forest shade ahead.

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